No Looking Back
by Nuttyginger
Summary: Spike decides the world needs some Chaos, and Cordelia has to deal with it.


Disclaimer: They don't belong to me but the plot does so ha ha ha. The characters from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel the TV Series" belong to Joss and all those rich folk at WB, Fox, and Mutant (Grr, arr) Enemy.  
Classification: Angel/Cordelia Fic, as always, Angst, Tears, and Death.  
WARNING: Contains topics associated with Death and Suicide.  
I'm not a big Buffy Fan after what she said to Angel at the police station in "Angel" so I tend to kill her off!   
***************************************************************************************************************  
Cordelia stared as her lover as he swept past her desk, lightly placing his fingers over  
her shoulders. They had been lovers for about two years now. Angel had finally let go of  
Buffy after she had died, saving the world one last time.   
  
"We need to talk, you can't get out of this wedding that easily. I mean your the  
bride, your meant to be excited and stressed out arranging the cake and stuff. What's  
up?" Angel asked  
  
"Nothing it's just that with Buffy dying only like 6 months ago and with Doyles  
anniversary coming up I don't really feel into it now. Plus it takes two of us to pick a  
cake and it's kinda daylighty outside. Anyway we had a case to work on and it's pretty  
big. You understand?"  
  
"Yeah sorry I just want to get this marriage thing over with so I can enjoy you  
beginning my wife and not the girlfriend. Have you picked a dress? You don't need me to  
help you pick a dress do you." Angel said kneading deep into Cordelias shoulders.  
  
"Mmm that's nice. No Willow is coming through tomorrow, she has a Wicca  
convention in town. I'm really glad me and Willow are friends now. I mean Xander was  
not worth losing such a friend over. I'll bring home some cake books OK. Are you still  
alright for Thursday? Going to Dolyes grave. Oh there hasn't been anymore from the  
council on that is there. I know they don't like graves just popping up and all but we need  
somewhere to go." A tear began to form in her eye.  
  
Angel put his arms around her neck and spun her around in her chair to face him. " What  
you mean Xander isn't coming to the wedding, oh what a shame(!). No there hasn't been  
anymore trouble. You still haven't talk to me much about Doyle. I thought you were going  
to. I know you miss him, I do too, but we have to move on. Not forget him but get on  
with our lives. He would want us to be happy." He wiped the tear away as it trickled down  
her cheek. "Hey come on lets go and have dinner OK."  
  
The Next Day:  
  
"What do you think of this one?" Willow shouted holding up a white lace dress. "I  
mean it's white, wedding and I like it."  
  
"Are you serious. I don't want to look like a cream puff do i." Willows face  
turned to hurt. "Sorry but come on, plus white isn't such a good idea." Cordelia turned to  
look at Willow again. Her mouth was wide open. "Oh come on. We've been together over  
two years and you didn't think we have slept together. Plu-ease. You should know that I  
can't give him the 'Big Happy' like Buffy could and did. He loves me sure but I will never  
be his first true love. Buffy thought she was Angels destiny after all." Cordelia said  
holding up a cream dress in front of the mirror. "I like this one actually."  
  
"Oh a bit Maid Mariony isn't it? Where are you having the wedding? In a  
church?" Willow looked up to see a scowl on Cordelias face, "Opps maybe not. What do  
you mean Buffy thought Angel was her destiny?"  
  
"She wasn't, we found a prophecy that told us that Angels bound lives on. It says  
something about jewels in the sea. I don't know that scroll never make bloody sense to  
me. It's got Wesley fascinated thought. And if you look on the invitation we are having  
the wedding in a marquee after the sun sets and then the reception is at the Plaza  
Hotel. God Willow didn't you read the thing. I think I'm gonna get this one. Do ya think  
Angel will like it?"  
  
"You're joking, Angel would love you in a bin liner. We better get going, I've got  
to be at 'Wicca' for 4:30 so I'll see you later. One more thing before I go, have you  
picked out Angels wedding gift yet?"  
  
"Nah not yet we agreed on necklaces so I was going to get him a gold, engraved  
St. Christopher. He's the protector of travellers and Angel is sort of a traveller. Just  
the thought that the guy was a protector is enough for me."  
  
"If ya need a hand picking one out just let me know OK. Bye." With that Willows  
read head disappeared among the bustle of LA.  
  
The Wedding:  
  
"Do you Angel take Cordelia to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold,  
in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"  
  
"Till death do us part Cordelia. I do." Angel answered staring into his lovers  
hazel eyes.  
  
"And do you Cordelia take Angel to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and  
to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"  
  
"Forever and always, I do." A silent tear fell from her eye.  
  
"Then I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."  
  
Cheers went up as Angel passionately kissed Cordelia before scooping her up into his  
arms. "To the reception." He shouted.  
  
They danced all night. When they kissed it seemed as if the whole world disintegrated  
at their feet and no one else mattered. No one else did matter, that was until Wesley  
clinked his wine glass and began his best man speech. It was funny in an English-funny  
kind of way. Giles certainly appreciated it. Beginning the only surviving 'Savers Of The  
World' a honeymoon was out of the question but Cordelia had managed to convince Angel  
to stay the night in the Plaza using the excuse. "The sun will be coming up in a few hours.  
We don't want a new husband fireball now, do we?" and battered her eyelashes. It  
always worked.  
  
Three Blissful Weeks Later:  
  
"Oh yeah and could you pick up some more blood at the butchers for me? And  
some Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cre...Ahh" Angel screamed in agony before falling  
to the floor. A concerned Cordelia ran to his side as he rolled his head in his hands.  
  
"Angel, Angel look at me what's wrong? Speak to me." Cordelia screamed at the  
riddled vampire.  
  
"It's Spike, he's in town and he's looking for me. I never knew he could pull that  
hard. He still has the chip right? He can't hurt you. He's really angry." He shouted as he  
fell to the floor again.  
  
"Someone call me?" Spike announced as he strolled up to the door. "Now invited  
me in or I'll keep pulling at Peaches strings." Angel squirmed on the floor again.  
  
"Alright come in, now quit it. I know you've got that heaven sent chip in your  
head so you can't hurt me. Buffys lot sure screwed you one didn't they." Cordelia  
laughed.  
  
"Yes but Vampires aren't out of the question! Now listen to me, meet me at the  
docks at 11:3o tomorrow night with the Gem. Or I'll keep pulling on Peaches' here strings  
till he begs to be staked. Got me." Spike blinked as Angels wedding band caught in the  
lamp light. "Ahh what's this Peaches, someone finally make an honest woman of you  
then?" He noticed Cordelias gold ring as well. "Oh bloody hell, don't tell me she is my  
new step-mum. Bloody hell, what are you crazy. I'm sure she's good in bed and looks  
good but she can't do anything but file her nails. Nah you were better off with Buffy.  
At least she gave you Angelus in return for her services."   
  
Angel stood up as his Vamp face slipped on and he lunged for Spike. But recoiled as  
quickly when Spike pulled his sires mental chain.   
  
"I mean what I say, bring the Gem tomorrow, unarmed."   
  
Before either could move he was gone.  
  
"Angel we don't have the damn Gem. You crushed it didn't you. Doyle told me you  
watched the Sunset the smashed it. Come on we'll get Wesley, he can find a way to  
break the link, and we'll get ready for the docks OK." Cordelia helped Angel to his feet.   
  
11:30pm-Dock side:  
  
"Right William we're here, here Spikey, Spikey, Spikey. Come and get your Gem."  
Cordelia tormented at the black space in front of her hoping that he was there somewhere.  
  
"Shut it step-mum, where's my Peaches?"  
  
"Oh don't worry I'm here." Angel peeled out of the darkness. "Now break the  
link."  
  
"Where the ring? I won't until I get the ring."  
  
"Spike you should know that I destroyed the ring after I got it back from you  
and your little torture minion." Angel said stepping forward, swinging a double bladed  
axe between his hands.  
  
"Oh well if I can't have the Gem, I'll at least take Angelus." An arrow shot out of  
the darkness, striking Angel in the right-hand thigh. "Now he has 12 hours before the  
little happy drug takes full effect and welcome to Angelus. Don't even think about  
sleeping it off. This thing is permanent, a little gift I got of the Initiative before I blew  
it up. Bloody great fireworks display that was. Now if you don't mind I've got to go find  
Dru. Bye Peaches and hello CHAOS." Spike fled off into the night laughing to himself.  
  
Cordelia dragged the Vampire back to their apartment where Wesley was waiting.   
  
"Spikes right I'm afraid. It's permanent. Nothing can be done. We have to think  
about the long term. Cordelia look at me, we cannot let Angelus out. There's no Buffy to  
bring him back and Faith won't exactly mind having the world in chaos will she." Wesley  
turned toward a sweating Angel. "It seems to be acting faster than predicted."  
  
"Wesley I can't stake him, I love him." She mumbled tears poring freely from  
her eyes. "I know I promised him but I can't, I need to think, don't do anything till I get  
back OK." With that she left. She walked and walked till she found herself at Doyles  
grave. "Oh shit Doyle what do I do? Do I do a Slayer thing and save the world and stake  
my beloved or do I simply let Angelus lose hoping I can control him? You would tell me  
what to do if you were here. I know what you would tell. 'Think from the heart princess.  
Think about it long and hard now.' I wish you were still here. Oh well, I've got  
something to do. Tame the bear within the tiger. Bye." With that she sped off in the  
direction she had just came.  
  
"Wesley, Angel I'm home." She stopped, she couldn't feel Angel here. She played  
some more with the stake behind her back. Well if Angelus had turned Wesley then she  
would have to stake Wesley. A homicidal, I-like-dead-bodies, Vampire and a smart witted ex-Watcher whoknew it all would be too much. The Watcher would have to go. "Wesley where is Angel?" She saw his hand drooping over the sofa cushion. "Oh there you are." A terrified scream left her mouth as she saw Wesleys' head hanging at a funny angle. His neck was broken.  
  
"Surprise guess who's back? I thought I would celebrate. Did you know how  
much he screams like a girl. Quite funny really. Now it's your turn. I can turn you or play  
with you then kill you. Your choice." Angelus said sarcastically to a now placid Cordelia.  
  
"Well if this is how it's got to be you better come here." She said playing with  
the stake behind her back.   
  
Angel slammed her body onto the couch and pinned her down. His demon face  
slipped on as his fangs poised for the take. He leaned in close to her heaving chest and  
listened as she whispered "Till Death Do Us Part." and slammed the stake through his  
heart. He wavered for a few seconds before turning to dust, covering her trembling  
body.  
She got up, carefully dusting of Angelus' remains before heading over to the phone.  
She slowly dialled Willows number and got her machine.  
  
"Hiya Willow, it's Cordelia. Can you come over tomorrow afternoon? I need a  
hand with some decorating. Thanks." She quietly put down the receiver down before heading  
over to the weapons cupboard. She effortlessly pulled out the tranquilliser gun they  
used on demons. She slowly pulled out the bottle with enough tranquilliser to knock out a  
7ft demon for 12 hours. That should do it. Cordelia tipped toed over to the dusty pile  
near the bed and let the tranquilliser slip down her neck.  
  
Willow found Cordelia dead lying in a pile of ashes the next afternoon with Wesley lying  
on the couch peacefully. She later found a short note.  
  
"Willow please forgive me for making you find us but I couldn't go on. Spike  
turned Angel into Angelus and I couldn't let him destroy the world again, so I staked  
him. He took Wesley as well. I couldn't take the guilt of killing my true love, nor the pain  
of living alone. The prophecy, my name means Jewel of the Sea. I was his bound! Please  
bury me with Angels' ashes next to Doyle and Wesley wanted to go back to England to  
be buried with his family. See to it please. I want you to know that I did this without  
looking back. Thank-you."  
  
Willow slowly peeled the gold St. Christopher from Cordelias hand and placed it around  
her neck instead. She turned and walked out of the room and into the sunlight without  
looking back.  
  
~~FIN~~  
  
  



End file.
